from the legal pad

your mother's care your father's joy. grandparents' pride an aunt's tears an uncle's hopes. life. breath. cries for milk a beating heart. sleep. these gifts, eternal. this life, spiritual. thank you- better yet, bless you.

i think therefore i know; i know therefore i win. my thoughts compete    with myself    with my actions    with you. always running, rarely in offseason. stop

there is a moment- some mornings.    often fleeting,    seldom lasting. and just for a blink, my mind forgets the rush. for a breath or two,    sipping coffee,    pouring cereal, i rest. no longer in bed, the news doesn't broadcast here. wireless has no reception. sit. wait. regardless. the chaos cometh.

speeds accelerate. chaos swirls all around me. yet i am guilty, for i am at peace. i think.

weekday mornings i dread.    my phone-alarm vibrates, and my wife roles over away from me.    i don’t want to go to work – i don’t want to study. coffee. as i shower, the grounds brew in hot water. the day ahead seems more manageable when i’m standing,    when i’m reading    when i reach my third cup. weekends i set no alarm, but i sleep no longer. i can’t.  i awake. no shower, just coffee. i sit. i enjoy, nothing.

in past lives, i spend a buck or two on paper- journals and such.  oddly enough, i prefer a legal pad- yellow, although white will do.  i could go on as to my developed preference...  the following ramblings will be various excerpts from my legal pad of sorts.